**Sigh**
What a weekend...Bid Day on Saturday, then bbq at the ATO house, then dinner with the boys at Blue Mesa, and then a party at Bootyjams aunt's house...Sunday was the ATO vs. FIGI football game, and then the Cowboys game, then homework, and then dinner with the boys at Chili's...A long weekend...A dramatic weekend...A bittersweet weekend...
Bid day was fun along with the bbq and dinner. But the party sucked for me. Too much drama went on, and people that no one knew kept showing up, people kept getting sick, stuff was broken, lots of crying, drunken crying, stupid drunks, and it was up to me to keep everything in order. Or so I felt. That seems to be a major problem for me, and I had a bad time because of it because it was too overwhelming, and let's just say that I was ready to drive home by 11:00pm. How sad is that? But no, I had to wait till 2:00am before I could get Becca and Shauna to get in the car and go home. I understand that they had a lot of shit to get out with a few people, but I was in a bad mood. So I apologize to you two if I seemed to be on edge and short with you. I was just not enjoying myself.
Last night at dinner with the boys, I found out some interesting facts about something, and well I ended up in the bathroom with Alexis bawling. Not fun at all. I wish people could just be who they really are and show their true colors all the time, instead of "leading you on" forever, and then all of a sudden, who you thought they were is not who they are. I hate two-faced people. I don't understand how anyone can be mean to another person like that, and not give it another thought. Maybe I am too nice, and let people get away with things too much, or maybe I am just really blind to it all. Whatever it is, it sucks, and I am extremely hurt. I feel like I am in middle school all over again, where girls were mean and constantly belittled the nice and sweet girls, the girls like me. High school was different...No one cared, and no one had anything against me, and my girl friends didn't walk all over me. In high school, life was fun. But recently I feel like I have been treated like dirt, if not to my face, then behind my back, and well the later hurts the most. People are so afraid to say things to your face, and a lot of people like to put things in a "nice way" so as to not hurt my feelings, but it does anyway. No one wants to say anything to me in an honest and open matter. It makes me feel inferior, like a little kid in a way, where your older siblings wouldn't tell you things cuz they didn't want you to worry, and they never thought you would be able to understand, whether you got older or not. I just don't feel like whatever I do for people is important anymore, like it was all for nothing. Should I quit being such a nice person? Of course not, because that is just not me. But how else do you get people to quit taking advantage of you? If you have any answers for me let me know.
I'd like to ask that everyone be honest with me, and don't be afraid to tell me things straight up instead of leading me on to believe that everything is fine. I'd really appreciate it. I'd also appreciate it if people would tell me things instead of having to hear it from someone else who heard it from someone else, and so on. That hurts. So please, if you have something to say, SAY IT! Thank you.
Bid day was fun along with the bbq and dinner. But the party sucked for me. Too much drama went on, and people that no one knew kept showing up, people kept getting sick, stuff was broken, lots of crying, drunken crying, stupid drunks, and it was up to me to keep everything in order. Or so I felt. That seems to be a major problem for me, and I had a bad time because of it because it was too overwhelming, and let's just say that I was ready to drive home by 11:00pm. How sad is that? But no, I had to wait till 2:00am before I could get Becca and Shauna to get in the car and go home. I understand that they had a lot of shit to get out with a few people, but I was in a bad mood. So I apologize to you two if I seemed to be on edge and short with you. I was just not enjoying myself.
Last night at dinner with the boys, I found out some interesting facts about something, and well I ended up in the bathroom with Alexis bawling. Not fun at all. I wish people could just be who they really are and show their true colors all the time, instead of "leading you on" forever, and then all of a sudden, who you thought they were is not who they are. I hate two-faced people. I don't understand how anyone can be mean to another person like that, and not give it another thought. Maybe I am too nice, and let people get away with things too much, or maybe I am just really blind to it all. Whatever it is, it sucks, and I am extremely hurt. I feel like I am in middle school all over again, where girls were mean and constantly belittled the nice and sweet girls, the girls like me. High school was different...No one cared, and no one had anything against me, and my girl friends didn't walk all over me. In high school, life was fun. But recently I feel like I have been treated like dirt, if not to my face, then behind my back, and well the later hurts the most. People are so afraid to say things to your face, and a lot of people like to put things in a "nice way" so as to not hurt my feelings, but it does anyway. No one wants to say anything to me in an honest and open matter. It makes me feel inferior, like a little kid in a way, where your older siblings wouldn't tell you things cuz they didn't want you to worry, and they never thought you would be able to understand, whether you got older or not. I just don't feel like whatever I do for people is important anymore, like it was all for nothing. Should I quit being such a nice person? Of course not, because that is just not me. But how else do you get people to quit taking advantage of you? If you have any answers for me let me know.
I'd like to ask that everyone be honest with me, and don't be afraid to tell me things straight up instead of leading me on to believe that everything is fine. I'd really appreciate it. I'd also appreciate it if people would tell me things instead of having to hear it from someone else who heard it from someone else, and so on. That hurts. So please, if you have something to say, SAY IT! Thank you.
posted by Stephanie at 9:26 AM
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