What's up?

Not much. That seems to be what i say to most people lately. Right now I'm sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. My mom likes to gripe at me cuz apparentally I don't help out enough around the house. Usually home is supposed to be a place of rest from the rest of the world. But to me it's just a place of chaos and a lot of tension. Instead of looking forward to going home, I look forward to getting away from it. My only sanctuary is my bed. So if you ever catch me saying that "I want to go home" take it as that "I want to go to bed." That's my happy place, cuz I can sleep away whatever is taking place at home. You know it's bad when you wake up and don't want to get up, and not because you're tired either, but because you don't want to face what is outside that bedroom door. I don't know why. Maybe because I resent the fact that I can't leave home yet, do to practicality and financial reasons. I don't know. But I wish that I had the means of transportation to just get up and go whenever I wanted to. That's another thing that I resent. I don't know why all of this is spilling out now, but it is. I say all of this and it looks as though I'm a really depressing person. But you all know that I'm not. I think I'm just sick of my mom nagging at me about everything. I know she doesn't mean any harm, cuz my mom is really just a very nice and sincere person. But I hate having to explain myself to her about what my palns are for whatever, when am I gonna be home, and yada, yada, yada. I really don't have to say anyhting to her, but that would hurt her feelings, which I would never do. I just wish that she wouldn't look so sad at me sometimes. She gives me that look of disappointment sometimes, like when I come home at 2am or something, and I apologize cuz she waited up for me like usual, and it kills me. I don't think she believes me when I say where I've been or whatever, even though I don't lie to her. I just don't go into detail. And I don't have anything to be guilty of either. But still, mothers have a habit of giving you those looks that just kill you! Sigh... Well sorry to bore you to death with all of this, but I had to get it out. Next time I post, I'll try to be happier about it. TTYL.